The Cruellest Things Parents Have Done to Their Children

Be warned – do not allow young children to read this post for various reasons such as finding out things they shouldn’t. You see, BattleDad and I have recently done one of the cruellest things to BattleKid so far. Let me tell you the story…

The other night after our usual swim, we went to our restaurant on site for dinner. Ricardo, the chef, opened the kitchen for us as we are residents, despite it being closed. We had a lovely dinner together, just the three of us. After our meal, BattleDad went to pay and took BattleKid with him. They came back with BattleKid smiling and licking a push pop. You know the sweets that have a stick full of sugary goodness that you push up as you eat or lick it.

I was horrified. BattleKid has hardly ever had sweets and sugar affects him in a massive way. As it was late, I was worried it would keep him awake, especially as it was getting close to bedtime. We let him enjoy it as we walked home but as soon as we arrived it was confiscated with the promise of him having it the next day.

Well, that wasn’t going to happen. BattleDad and I agreed that we couldn’t give it back to him the next day and I said it was going in the bin. “We can’t do that to him” BattleDad said. “Oh yes we can, unless you want a sugar monster the whole day tomorrow” was my response. Teeth were scrubbed and off to bed he went, all the while thinking he would get his push pop back.

As soon as he was asleep I took the push pop and pushed that sticky evil into the bin, no qualms at all. I washed out the barrel and decided we’d replace the sweet with something more practical from our Fairy. A new electric toothbrush. This was placed beside our Fairy door with the empty barrel and a note to say not to eat bad sweets as his teeth would fall out.cruellest things cruellest things

BattleDad said we were cruel parents to replace a sugary delight with a toothbrush and even worse for leaving behind the empty barrel of the push pop. To be fair, we laughed at the irony of it as everything was put in place. This, by far, has to be one of the cruellest things we’ve done to him to date. Cruel but necessary I’d say.

It got me thinking and I thought I’d ask the blogging community what was the cruellest things they’ve done to their children to date, partly for a laugh, and partly to make myself feel better. Here’s what they had to say!

The Cruellest Things Parents Have Done to Their Children:

Claire – Big Family Big Fun

Snuck in a McDonalds after they went to bed last night then hid the evidence (bear in mind, my kids are mainly teenagers). We felt mean.

Katie – Mummys Diary

Well I’ve been quite fed up with my nearly 4 year old still demanding a dummy especially at night, so I told her that if she didn’t give it up her teeth would fall out.

Sophia – Tattooed Tea Lady

I ate my daughter’s Easter chocolates! We had asked family not to get her chocolate as she’s still so little, but of course, she got some anyway! I made her a hamper with some books and a chick teddy, whilst I ate the chocolate! 

Alex – Better Together Home

I had a clear out of her room whilst she was away for the weekend and gave away LOADS of toys and her play kitchen (which she never played with). When she got back and complained I told her that the fairies had done it because she didn’t keep her room tidy. 

Sinead – Sinead Latham

We may have told our Small Human that his Paw Patrol truck went on a jungle mission and that’s why he couldn’t find it! (We just hid it cause we couldn’t take the noise anymore!)

Rachel – Coffee Cake Kids

Removed the batteries from several annoying noisy toys (yeah, thanks for that Nan!) and told them they no longer make that sort of battery. Also told the 6 year old you have to be 12 to own a musical instrument.

Removing the batteries is known as a visit from the ‘battery monster’ in our house.

Leanne – A Slice of My Life Wales

If she doesn’t put her play doh away I ‘forget’ to do it and then unfortunately it dries out and has to be thrown away.

I admit I have done this too.

Nadine – Then I Became Mum

I hid his favourite toy hoover and watched him search desperately for it whilst pretending I didn’t know where it had gone. It was driving me to insanity and he would only play with it when I participated so I was left with no choice. 

Claire – Love Life and Dirty Dishes

I didn’t want to share my chocolate, so I told my son he couldn’t have it because it had nuts in (it didn’t). He just accepted it. Now I use the excuse all the time. He’s not even allergic to nuts!

This was BattleDad’s particular favourite!

Clare – Clare’s Little Tots

I’ve told my 5 year old since she was old enough to ask that you have to be 8 years old before you can go to Disney World….best start saving! 

Alana – Baby Holiday

“Forgot” to take a dummy on holiday last year and told our two-year-old they don’t sell them in France. As luck would have it, he didn’t like the milk so we ditched the dummy and night-time bottle at the same time!

Sarah – Mumzilla

I once ate an entire chocolate muffin whilst telling the then toddler that it was cheese. 

Jen – Just Average Jen

I’ve given my son the same presents for 3 Christmas’s in a row! Each time he didn’t even unwrap said DVD and asked for it the following year so I figured he forgot he owned it and Santa brought it again…..and again lol.

We still have one birthday present in our shed….still in it’s wrapping. Guess what is going to make a reappearance for the next birthday!

Clare – This Mummy’s Always Write

My husband once told my daughter “That’s why your older sister no longer lives with us. We gave her back to the baby shop”. She was throwing toys and slamming doors in tantrum style. Of course she is our eldest but she questioned it for ages. (Yes he is mean) 

Hannah – A New Addition Blog

My son is 9 and he lost his tooth, he looked at me, I looked at him. I gave him a £1 and told him not to tell his little brother. lol 

Sally – Teddy Bears and Cardigans

My children are now grown up but telling them they couldn’t try something that I was eating as they wouldn’t like it. The first time I did it, it was something really nice like sweeties, so after that they always wanted to try whatever I had. It was a great way to get them to try something new.

Raimy – ReadaRaptor

My two year old was begging for cake last week. So I told her that a chocolate digestive was cake and that her and mummy could have one each… she was so happy. She smiled the entire way through eating it and kept saying ‘I got cake mummy!’ I’m hoping we can keep this up for a while. 

Nick – Bad Dadu

Nick guilt-tripped his son one evening into liking him more by pretending to hide in the bin outside. Read his hilarious post on his blog.

But the story that got most people talking was this one involving those pesky ice cream vans:

Alex of Better Together Home said her aunt always told her kids that when the ice cream van plays music it means they’ve run out of supplies.

Sinead of Sinead Latham said they’ve gone one further with this and that their Small Human thinks the ice cream van is his bed time song (he comes round at 6pm!!) They’ve never corrected him!

Laura of The Mamma Fairy Blog said her own mum tells her two children the same and thinks it’s genius!

And Lynette of Reclusive Fox has also done this!


I have to say both BattleDad and I had a good laugh knowing we are not the only parents who sometimes have to be cruel to be kind. Have you done anything that these parents have done or something else? I’d love to hear it.

Thanks for reading,

Cath x

cruellest things

cruellest things


Ditch the Dummy – How and When We Did It

I will freely admit that in my naive pre-BattleKid era I was firmly against a child of mine having a dummy. No way, Jose! Ha. If I could go back I’d give my childless self a good shake and say “wait and see”. We ended up having a collection and when it came time to ditch the dummy, we were apprehensive to say the least.ditch the dummy

We survived a little over a week after the birth of BattleKid before I sent my husband to the shops to procure said pacifiers in the hope I’d get some much needed rest. I was exclusively breastfeeding at that stage and was being used as a pacifier in between feeds. And I was exhausted. I know many of you will think “oh but you were only a week into Motherhood, so why give in so quickly”. Because I had to! Cluster feeds and little or no sleep in those first few weeks are worse than what I imagine hell is like, and coupled with an awful recovery from birth I wasn’t prepared to play the martyr. Show me a new mother who is prepared to do that and I’ll gladly shake their hands.

ditch the dummy
Two month old BattleKid

As it turns out it was our saving grace a week later when I ended up back in hospital for an episiotomy repair and BattleDad was left to fend for himself with a 13 day old new-born who had been fed by me exclusively up till then. They survived the 12 hours together and so began another 12 weeks of recovery for me before I felt somewhat normal. To be honest I don’t think you can ever feel fully normal again.

Life soon found its natural rhythm in the BattleHousehold.  Again, naively I had thought “oh I’ll ditch the dummy when he’s one”. First birthday came and went. As did the second birthday.

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Two year old BattleKid with George and said dummy

Before we knew it we had a 2 years and 7 month old toddler who still relied on the dummy for naps and bedtime. We occasionally brought it with us on days out to calm him down if he got overtired and I must admit to being embarrassed my son still needed one at that age. I felt like everyone around me was staring and judging but no one ever passed comment. I think it was all in my head. I never judge a parent doing what works for them and their family but sometimes these thoughts creep into our heads. Either way it was time to ditch the dummy.

ditch the dummy
Exploring Bled Castle at 18 months old

But how? How could we get rid of that life saver? How would he settle at night?

We decided that just going cold turkey with the dummy was the only way to do it. We had already been limiting his use of them and everything we read, and we read a lot around the subject, suggested cold turkey was the quickest way to do it. So we decided to take the plunge. Ditch the dummy time had come and we needed to face it head on.

Two days after an operation to extract some of my nasty wisdom teeth, BattleDad and I were in BattleKid’s room for some reason and he said “will we do it” and I agreed. I blame the strong painkillers I was on for my moment of madness. We left the landing window open until BattleKid arrived home and placed a toy motorbike on his bed. When we took him upstairs for bedtime we explained that some birds had gotten in the window and took his soo’s (soothers/dummies) for their babies who didn’t have any. His initial response was “oh dear me”.

We went through our bedtime routine and only then did he really cry for his dummy. We explained again that he was a big boy now and that the bird’s babies need them now as they had none and he had a motorbike for bed instead. He seemed to accept it and we said we would come back up five minutes later and check on him. We didn’t and he fell asleep no problem after a few little cries for his dummy. He woke once during the night, obviously looking for his dummy, but we repeated our words from earlier, ensured he had his bike close by and he settled back asleep.

The next day our Fairy came to live with us and he brought BattleKid a KTM bunny to go with the KTM bike the birds had gotten him in exchange for his dummies. We told him Kyiri (the fairy’s name) would watch over him at night and he insisted his bedroom door be left open so he could see the Fairy door. There were a lot less tears at bedtime on Day Two and none by Day Three.ditch the dummy

Naps were as easy too and nursery just carried on where we had started at home. Within a few days there was no mention of the soo at naps or bedtime.

Don’t get me wrong, he occasionally asked for it when he was tired or ill, particularly at bedtime, but we gently reminded him he didn’t need them now as he was older and he soon accepted it. He did give out to birds quite often for a few weeks for taking his dummy.

Ever since the dummy left the house BattleKid has slept with a motorbike in bed every night. He will hold it until he falls asleep and we move it out of the way when we head to bed ourselves. The make and model of the bike changes every now and then but that initial KTM bike was a great substitute for the dummy and made our transition as smooth as it could be.

In some ways I am glad that we waited until we did so we could explain things to BattleKid in ways he understood and in others I wish I’d gotten rid of it sooner. Either way, by the time we travelled to New York last September the dummy had been well and truly ditched. I was particularly glad of this as there are no photographs from that holiday featuring a dummy!

I’d love to know if your children had pacifiers/soothers and if so, at what age did you ditch the dummy?

Thanks for reading,

Cath x

ditch the dummy


Cuddle Fairy