The A to Z of Words Kids Cant Say

There are just some words kids cant say. We’ve all been there, our parents often reminding us what words we would get muddled up as children. We’ve done it and now our children are too. Recently BattleKid got pins and needles in his leg from sitting in one position too long. He had no idea what was wrong and was crying to BattleDad that his leg was hurting and felt funny. We deduced that he had gotten pins and needles for the first time, a sensation we as adults are used to. It’s something you forget about until your children experiences it for the first time. And it must feel like the most alien thing to them. He now calls them peedles, instead of pins and needles.words kids cant say

Photo by Greyson Joralemon on Unsplash

We also have Bairy instead of Fairy, the very common Lellow instead of Yellow and puter instead of computer like Kelly’s little ones from The Best Version of Kelly. One of my sisters used to say hassgropper instead of grasshopper too. We find it quite funny when we hear BattleKid say “Mammy, Daddy, I have peedles”. It got me wondering what are some of the other words kids cant say and, so I asked the parent blogger community to share their words with us.

The A to Z of Words Kids Cant Say

A is for Avocado, or applocado as Nathalie’s son would say (Intolerant Gourmand). It is also for Advertisment, or advertment according to Nicole from Tales from Mamaville’s 4-year-old. And you’d think it’s for Ambulance as well. Oh no, not according to Sarah from The Herniman House’s 3-year-old son. A is for apple-lance.

B is for Blueberries. Also known as bobaries by Nicole’s son from The Frugal Cottage, or boobies by Kayley from Friendly First Food’s little one! B is also for Bath Bomb or bum-bum according to Ally’s daughter from Slim Sights.

C is for Crepe, or crap according to Pete’s daughter (Household Money Saving). C is also for Carbonara (one of my favourite Italian dishes) or better known as carabanana by Amy from The Smallest of Things’ daughter. C is for Clock, or cock according to the little ones of both Jaymee (The Mum Diaries) and Kellie’s son too (My Little Babog). And while we’re veering into swear words, C is normally for Castle but in the words of Aria, daughter to Leanne asshole (A Slice of My Life Wales)!words kids cant say - Clock

Photo by Sanah Suvarna on Unsplash

D is for Dinosaur but not according to both Beth (Twinderelmo) or Cat’s (Rock and Roll Pussy Cat) little ones. No, D is for dine-saw and dinoraurs, respectively.

E is for Eskimo Kisses, or es-man iss’ as Sophia’s little girl would say (Tattooed Tea Lady). E is also for Ear Defenders, or indiferds according to Louise’s daughter from Pink Pear Bear.

F is for something I wear most days since we moved to Portugal – Flip Flops. Or, as Nicola from The Mummy Monster’s little one would say “dip dops”, or Victoria from Parenting Peace and Quiet’s little one’s name for them, plip plops.

G is for Guinea Pigs, or pip-pigs according to Jo’s little one from Cup of Toast. G is also for Glasses, which I wear, or as they are known in Sally’s house, lowers. That’s the first time I’ve heard them referred to as that (Teddy Bears and Cardigans).

H is for Helicopter or hebicotteleter as Michelle from What Mummy Thinks’ daughter has renamed it!

I is for Isabella. Michelle’s son can’t quite get his sister’s name right and so calls her Billaba (What Mummy Thinks).

J is for Just Kidding, or just killing as Mia’s son from Seaside Living with a Turtle and Unicorn says.

K is for Kettle, which was renamed cattle some 20 years ago by Becky from 3 Princesses and 1 Dude’s sister. Kettles will forever be known as cattles in her house.

L is for Lawnmower, or as Jo’s son from Pickle and Poppet calls them, lun bowers.

M is for Milk, or door as Jenni’s little one from Chilling with Lucas has called it. I asked why, and she said

I’m guessing because it comes from behind the fridge door, but we have never known why. He calls my breastmilk mummy’s door haha.

M is also for Mature but in Tracey’s house, from Pack the PJ’s, mature has been renamed manure. So, if you want Mature Cheddar, you’ll receive the manure cheddar from her son. Love this!

M is also for Monkey, or punkey as Jennie from Ricecakes and Raisins 1 year old says. Monkey has been renamed wanky by Leanne’s little girl of A Slice of My Life Wales. Oops.words kids cant say

Photo by Park Troopers on Unsplash

N is for Nutella, or butella as Louise’s son from With Love from Lou says.

O is for Octapus, or opitus as Michelle’s daughter says (What Mummy Thinks).

P is for Pillow. Well, not anymore. Pillow is now podo in Elizabeth’s house (The Homemakers Journal) and bippo in Annie’s house (Mama Willmot).

Q is for quickly, a word I am often saying to BattleKid (why are 3 year olds so slow) or quiply as Amy’s 3-year-old says from The Smallest of Things.

R is for Rabbit, or babbit as they’re now known by Christy’s nephew (Welsh Mum). R is also for Radiator or galorator as Sophie’s son says (Sophobsessed), and R would also be for Remember, or benember as Emma’s 5-year-old says instead (Wanderlust and Wet Wipes).

S is for Sausage Roll, or arsehole if you are Jenni’s little one from Chilling with Lucas! S is also for suitcase, or soupcase as Elizabeth’s little one calls it (The Homemakers Journal). S is also for Snuggles and cuddles or noodles as they’re known in Laura’s house (The Mamma Fairy).

T is for Trampoline, or ba-boh-leen as Alice’s little one says from Living with a Jude.

U is for Unicorn, a majestical creature, or nunicorn as Fateen’s daughter calls them (The Ninjas Tale).

V is for Very, or bery as both Mia’s son from Seaside Living with a Turtle and Unicorn and BattleKid say.

W is for Wellies, something we don’t need or use here in Portugal but for Sarah’s little one in the UK, willies are a must (Whimsical Mumblings).

X was one that we couldn’t find a word for but it forms part of Litter Box or as another blogger mentioned in another article of this type about words kids can’t say, Glitter Box as their little ones likes to call it. In the author’s words

I know which one I’d rather be cleaning!

Y is for Yoghurt, or lollert as Simones little one says (Dog Days and Delights). Y is also for Yellow, a hard one for many kids to say including Beth’s from Twinderelmo, and also Helen from Talking Mums. We have a Lellow sayer in our house too.

words kids cant say - Yellow

Photo by Andrew Wulf on Unsplash

And last but not least, Z is for catching some zzz’s, sleeping, or in Lianne’s house, bleeping (Ankle Biters Adventures).

Special mention goes to Simone’s niece of Dog Days and Delights who, instead of saying sucking a sweet, says fucking a fweet.

And by far my favourite of all the responses to my shout out for words kids cant say was from Tamara of The Epileptic Blogger who’s little one calls a Bucket and Spade a F@ck it and Bade!

What a wide variety of words kids cant say. Are there any on the list your little ones cant say? Or some which are not? We’d love to hear what they are!words kids cant say

Thanks to all the bloggers who helped me write this post by sharing with us the words and phrases their kids cant say.

Cath x

 

words kids cant say

words kids cant say

 

 

 

The Cruellest Things Parents Have Done to Their Children

Be warned – do not allow young children to read this post for various reasons such as finding out things they shouldn’t. You see, BattleDad and I have recently done one of the cruellest things to BattleKid so far. Let me tell you the story…

The other night after our usual swim, we went to our restaurant on site for dinner. Ricardo, the chef, opened the kitchen for us as we are residents, despite it being closed. We had a lovely dinner together, just the three of us. After our meal, BattleDad went to pay and took BattleKid with him. They came back with BattleKid smiling and licking a push pop. You know the sweets that have a stick full of sugary goodness that you push up as you eat or lick it.

I was horrified. BattleKid has hardly ever had sweets and sugar affects him in a massive way. As it was late, I was worried it would keep him awake, especially as it was getting close to bedtime. We let him enjoy it as we walked home but as soon as we arrived it was confiscated with the promise of him having it the next day.

Well, that wasn’t going to happen. BattleDad and I agreed that we couldn’t give it back to him the next day and I said it was going in the bin. “We can’t do that to him” BattleDad said. “Oh yes we can, unless you want a sugar monster the whole day tomorrow” was my response. Teeth were scrubbed and off to bed he went, all the while thinking he would get his push pop back.

As soon as he was asleep I took the push pop and pushed that sticky evil into the bin, no qualms at all. I washed out the barrel and decided we’d replace the sweet with something more practical from our Fairy. A new electric toothbrush. This was placed beside our Fairy door with the empty barrel and a note to say not to eat bad sweets as his teeth would fall out.cruellest things cruellest things

BattleDad said we were cruel parents to replace a sugary delight with a toothbrush and even worse for leaving behind the empty barrel of the push pop. To be fair, we laughed at the irony of it as everything was put in place. This, by far, has to be one of the cruellest things we’ve done to him to date. Cruel but necessary I’d say.

It got me thinking and I thought I’d ask the blogging community what was the cruellest things they’ve done to their children to date, partly for a laugh, and partly to make myself feel better. Here’s what they had to say!

The Cruellest Things Parents Have Done to Their Children:

Claire – Big Family Big Fun

Snuck in a McDonalds after they went to bed last night then hid the evidence (bear in mind, my kids are mainly teenagers). We felt mean.

Katie – Mummys Diary

Well I’ve been quite fed up with my nearly 4 year old still demanding a dummy especially at night, so I told her that if she didn’t give it up her teeth would fall out.

Sophia – Tattooed Tea Lady

I ate my daughter’s Easter chocolates! We had asked family not to get her chocolate as she’s still so little, but of course, she got some anyway! I made her a hamper with some books and a chick teddy, whilst I ate the chocolate! 

Alex – Better Together Home

I had a clear out of her room whilst she was away for the weekend and gave away LOADS of toys and her play kitchen (which she never played with). When she got back and complained I told her that the fairies had done it because she didn’t keep her room tidy. 

Sinead – Sinead Latham

We may have told our Small Human that his Paw Patrol truck went on a jungle mission and that’s why he couldn’t find it! (We just hid it cause we couldn’t take the noise anymore!)

Rachel – Coffee Cake Kids

Removed the batteries from several annoying noisy toys (yeah, thanks for that Nan!) and told them they no longer make that sort of battery. Also told the 6 year old you have to be 12 to own a musical instrument.

Removing the batteries is known as a visit from the ‘battery monster’ in our house.

Leanne – A Slice of My Life Wales

If she doesn’t put her play doh away I ‘forget’ to do it and then unfortunately it dries out and has to be thrown away.

I admit I have done this too.

Nadine – Then I Became Mum

I hid his favourite toy hoover and watched him search desperately for it whilst pretending I didn’t know where it had gone. It was driving me to insanity and he would only play with it when I participated so I was left with no choice. 

Claire – Love Life and Dirty Dishes

I didn’t want to share my chocolate, so I told my son he couldn’t have it because it had nuts in (it didn’t). He just accepted it. Now I use the excuse all the time. He’s not even allergic to nuts!

This was BattleDad’s particular favourite!

Clare – Clare’s Little Tots

I’ve told my 5 year old since she was old enough to ask that you have to be 8 years old before you can go to Disney World….best start saving! 

Alana – Baby Holiday

“Forgot” to take a dummy on holiday last year and told our two-year-old they don’t sell them in France. As luck would have it, he didn’t like the milk so we ditched the dummy and night-time bottle at the same time!

Sarah – Mumzilla

I once ate an entire chocolate muffin whilst telling the then toddler that it was cheese. 

Jen – Just Average Jen

I’ve given my son the same presents for 3 Christmas’s in a row! Each time he didn’t even unwrap said DVD and asked for it the following year so I figured he forgot he owned it and Santa brought it again…..and again lol.

We still have one birthday present in our shed….still in it’s wrapping. Guess what is going to make a reappearance for the next birthday!

Clare – This Mummy’s Always Write

My husband once told my daughter “That’s why your older sister no longer lives with us. We gave her back to the baby shop”. She was throwing toys and slamming doors in tantrum style. Of course she is our eldest but she questioned it for ages. (Yes he is mean) 

Hannah – A New Addition Blog

My son is 9 and he lost his tooth, he looked at me, I looked at him. I gave him a £1 and told him not to tell his little brother. lol 

Sally – Teddy Bears and Cardigans

My children are now grown up but telling them they couldn’t try something that I was eating as they wouldn’t like it. The first time I did it, it was something really nice like sweeties, so after that they always wanted to try whatever I had. It was a great way to get them to try something new.

Raimy – ReadaRaptor

My two year old was begging for cake last week. So I told her that a chocolate digestive was cake and that her and mummy could have one each… she was so happy. She smiled the entire way through eating it and kept saying ‘I got cake mummy!’ I’m hoping we can keep this up for a while. 

Nick – Bad Dadu

Nick guilt-tripped his son one evening into liking him more by pretending to hide in the bin outside. Read his hilarious post on his blog.

But the story that got most people talking was this one involving those pesky ice cream vans:

Alex of Better Together Home said her aunt always told her kids that when the ice cream van plays music it means they’ve run out of supplies.

Sinead of Sinead Latham said they’ve gone one further with this and that their Small Human thinks the ice cream van is his bed time song (he comes round at 6pm!!) They’ve never corrected him!

Laura of The Mamma Fairy Blog said her own mum tells her two children the same and thinks it’s genius!

And Lynette of Reclusive Fox has also done this!

 

I have to say both BattleDad and I had a good laugh knowing we are not the only parents who sometimes have to be cruel to be kind. Have you done anything that these parents have done or something else? I’d love to hear it.

Thanks for reading,

Cath x

cruellest things

cruellest things